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What does bisexuality mean?
Bisexuality means attraction to multiple genders.
This has never meant that there's only 2 genders or that we don't like non binary people. It simply means we are attracted to people anywhere on the gender spectrum.
This is represented in our flag, where pink is attraction to one's own gender, blue is attraction to a different gender, and purple represents attraction across the spectrum.
Bisexuality can be any "ratio" of attraction too. Many bi people have a preference towards one thing or another and that's perfectly valid
The Bisexual Manifesto (1990)
We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity.
Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.
Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone’s sexuality, including your own.
We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard.
published in Anything That Moves
Harmful stereotypes you shouldn't encourage!
You're going through a phase
You might be! But you might not be, and that shouldn't be anyone's first instinct when a person comes out as bi. People who may use this label but then come out again later are perfectly valid, but that doesn't mean every bi person is just confused or in a phase.
You're half straight and half gay
Bi people are bisexual. The whole point of this label is that we are attracted to both ends of the gender binary simultaneously. To insinuate we're simply other labels both erases our identity and invalidates those other labels.
You're a cheater
We are no more likely to cheat on you than any other person. If someone is willing to cheat, they will cheat, no matter who they like
Bi culture is liking every woman and only a few men
Preferences are valid. You can lean very strongly one way! That does not mean every bi person experiences this. If you do relate to this experience you may be a lesbian experiencing comphet and it's something worth looking into. Bi people with a strong preference for men are completely valid as well and every bisexual experience should be celebrated.
You just want straight privilege
Bi people are not straight. Having our identities erased, misunderstood, and invalidated by both cishets and lgbtq+ people is not privilege.
You've never dated ____ how do you know
Many people know what they're attracted to before ever dating anyone. Who you date does not automatically define your sexuality. Bi women who've only dated men, for instance, are still bisexual.
Bi vs. Pan
Pansexuality is a valid identity
Pansexuality is more about liking people regardless of gender. This can be described using bisexual, but people may choose the pan label because it more explicitly communicates their lack of a preference.
Bisexuality has always included trans people. Pansexuality isn't better or more inclusive, it's simply a label that describes an experience that bisexual doesn't explicitly convey, and that's fine!
Many people identify with both labels and use them in different situations. They can coexist and the different experiences of people under the bisexual umbrella should be celebrated
Can bi people say the d slur?
No!
The d slur is specifically harmful to lesbians. Bi people are often called it because they are being perceived as a lesbian. Like we said earlier, being bi doesn't mean you're half straight or half gay, and assuming we can say it because we are "half" something only invalidates everyone involved.
Since it isn't targeted towards bisexuality, it isn't ours to reclaim.
Can bi people say the f slur?
Yes
The f slur is directed towards all mlm. So if you are a mlm, you can reclaim it!
Do bi people have any other slurs they can reclaim?
Well ...
Technically yes, there have been many words and phrases used to degrade bisexuals, such as fauxbian, switch hitter, unicorn, lug, ac/dc etc. They aren't as widely used as the slurs mentioned above so many people don't find much power or comfort in reclaiming them. They simply don't affect the majority of us.
You can reclaim and use them if you choose to! I encourage any bi person to look into our history, including those words. Just remember at the end of the day words like slurs are all rooted in exetremely painful and violent history, and reclaiming something simply because you "want to say slurs" is really insensitive.
A few resources for bisexuals and our allies
Bisexual Resource Center is a safe and inclusive space where you can learn about all non-monosexual identities and how to support us
Bi.org is the best place to find articles, forums, and resources made by bi's for bi's. Whether you wanna know bi icons in pop culture or need some advice after a break up, they have it all
GLAAD is a general LGBTQ+ source that includes support for bisexual people.
The Suicide Prevention Lifeline acknowledges how LGBTQ+ people are disproportionately affected by things like depression and suicidal thoughts. Please don't hesitate to reach out to them or similar organizations if you need to.
This carrd's creator is more than happy to help you. If you have any questions or need a safe, non judgemental place to talk about bisexuality, my twitter dms are always open!
My letter to bisexuals
I love you. You are valid. Your experiences are valid. No matter who you've dated, no matter who you're most attracted to, no matter how other people perceive you, you are bisexual. We may be misunderstood. We may be ignored and erased from conversations. We may be an afterthought to many people. But we still stand strong. We still love how our hearts desire. I love you for that.